Who's Who!
by willyork
Summary: Oh my, this is the corniest thing ever, but I really enjoyed it when I wrote it. mPreg! Harry's Married! Harry's in love! Not necessarily with the same person! A total dialogue fic, largely an experiment to see where people's preferences lie DM/HP/RW


**Who's Who?**

"Oh!...i Oh, god! /i... Oh, yeah…. Dra- don't stop, don't stoooopp…..YES!

That was great. Love you."

"Love you too, Harry."

* * *

"Oh!... ohmygod… more, more! Ro- right there…ohmygod, i please /i….AHHHH!

Wow, that was amazing. I love you."

"Me too, baby."

c- - * - - * - - * - - * - - /c

"Harry, you know this isn't going to work.

"Why not? It's already worked for 2 years!"

"Yeah, from a combination of amazing luck and the fact that just about everyone i but /i your husband already knows and they run interference! Oh, not because they support us, no it's because once the press get ahold of this it'll be the biggest story since His death! I can see the headlines: The-Boy-Who-Lived-to-Cheat or Harry Potter; Hero of the Wizarding World or Despicable Adulterer?"

"But, but can't we just not tell them? Why does anybody have to know? Can't we just keep going like we have been?"

"Harry. You're pregnant. You're The-boy-who-lived-and-grew-up-to-defeat-Voldemort and i you're pregnant /i! It's gonna be kinda hard to miss in another couple months and the press'll be ieverywhere /i once word gets out."

"Oh my god, it's gonna be awful isn't it? I don't know if I can handle all that iagain/i."

"Shhh, baby, c'mere. On top of all that there are four houses counting on an heir from this kid. He or She will be the heir to the Potter, Black, Malfoy, and Weasley families in some combination. The Malfoy's would accept a Potter/Black/Malfoy heir but the Weasleys will inever/i accept a Potter/Weasley/iBlack/i heir. Nor would the Blacks allow themselves to share an heir with the Weasleys."

"But I'm the Black heir- it's up to me isn't it?"

"No. It's written into the Black inheritance laws somewhere I'm sure – there'll be someway that the child will have to be Okayed to share that many lines. Plus there's also Tonks' Mom, she's still a Black (even if she did get disowned) and she may very well fight you if you try and combine the Weasley's and the Black's."

"Not to mention Narcissa."

"Well, yes. But at that point there's a good chance she may be concerned with iother/i issues."

"Though that might make her fight me all the harder."

"True.

Harry, there's something else you need to think about…"

"What?"

"Well, two things actually. First off, you've got to remember that you're dealing with the Malfoys and the Weasleys; they are iknown/i by their hair….you pop out a ginger-everyone'll know it's a Weasley. You pop out a blonde- it's a Malfoy. You may not have a chance to tell anyone anything- they'll know."

"So, basically, I'd better pray my baby has my hair."

"Well…yeah, but"

"Oh, god there's more. What else can there be?!"

"Calm down Harry. You know I'll be with you for this whole thing no matter what happens, right?"

"Really? Even if it's not yours? Even if it's-"

"Yes. Harry, I. Love. You. Nothing will change that. Even your husband."

"Thank you. Now tell me."

"Harry, do you know how birth certificates work in the magical world?"

"…no…"

"I guess Muggles fill them out by hand? Well, sometime back in the Dark Ages there were a lot of unmarried women showing up pregnant (not so much an issue with guys back then) and a charm was created where any wizarding birth certificate is automatically created when the baby's born. It lists iboth/i parents. That way the father of all those unmarried women's kids were found and compelled to take care of his child. ….

Today it doesn't matter so much, what with divorce and remarriage and such. If it's mine but he'll accept the baby then I wouldn't matter except…"

"Except that it's the Malfoys and the Weasleys. Shit. And there's ino way/i I can get away with a joint Black/Potter/Malfoy/Weasley heir, right?"

"Right. Plus it would just be mean to make 'em the head of all four! I guess that when you have the next one you could split up who'd be heir of which. Hmm…"

"Hey, getting a bit ahead of yourself here?"

"Sorry baby. I was just thinking…"

"About what kind of sick joke it is that this could isomehow/i be the first of the next generation of Weasley's? There's five kids older than us anyway, how do Bill and Fleur not have a kid yet? And Charlie's gay too, and Percy's and Penelope have been engaged for i b four years /i /b!! and the twins and Angelina- how three people can have that much sex and i not/i get pregnant is beyond me! And… wait, what were you thinking about again?"

"No, none of that. I was thinking about us, about "baby-making". Come over here and let me show you…."

c - -* - - * - - * - - *- - /c

"Congratulations Mr. Potter, it's a girl."

"Alright, love?"

"Yeah,…where's the… certificate?"

"Oh I'll bring it right up Mr. Potter. You stay in bed and rest, and you –let him relax!"

* * *

cPeony Alexandra Malfoy/c

b Born: /b at 16:48 on April 8, 2009

b Parents: /b Harry Potter

Draco Malfoy

b Sex:/b Female

b Length: /b 6 pounds 9 ounces

b Weight: /b49 centimeters


End file.
